Time is Up!

Well, well, well. Midnight has struck yet once more, and it is now officially July 5th here. And so, what was the outcome of last night's dilemma? Take a wild guess:

**buuuuuuck buck buck buck buck buck buck buck**

(NO, I don't have a chicken suit in real life)

Oh well. Better luck next year. At first I was thinking better luck on Christmas since it's also a reason to greet her, but I just remembered -- I might be spending Christmas with Alan. And possibly his cousins who are also her cousins. Not a good idea :P

Anyway, other than that, I have nothing else to talk about since today was quite uneventful. So... Let me just take a quiz and do a little social blogging...

What kind of clothes should I be wearing? by Evelyn

...............

...............

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Really? Me?? Meant to wear Jean Paul Gaultiere? REALLY?

YES!! YES!! YES!!! Jean Paul Gaultiere!!! Ah! Yes!! I'm orgasmic!! Trashy?
Fashion Police? What? Who wrote this?? The man's a GENIUS!! I WORSHIP Jean
Paul Gaultiere!! Aaaaaah, I do I do I do I do!!

Wow, I've never been *this* happy over a quiz result before...

But REALLY!!! JEAN PAUL GAULTIERE!!! If I ever see this man in person, I
will kneel down in prayer @___@

JEAN PAUL GAULTIERE!!!! I don't care if he's gay. I'll marry him for his talent ^^ (hey, gay men DO marry straight women sometimes. I can hope!)

ANYWAY!!! Social blogging starts here...

Aya-chan, I know what you mean about not wanting your boyfriend to get lonely. Before Alan went back home to the States, I offered to let him date other people if he wanted to. I just promised to visit him after a year, and if he happens to be single when I come over, and if he's still interested, then we can carry on where we left off. Although much to my joy, he declined the offer ^^;

Fortune Cookie, yes, long distance relationships are a bitch. Packing syet. Leche. Walang hiya. At kung anu-anong pang mura na pwede sabihin. Hehehehehe!

Kainnon, too bad, I chickened out. Buck buck buck buck :P Oh, and I never mentioned Larissa because... well, look at the last post, it's helluva long story, and that's the short version O_o

RandomKoreanGuy and Spacie, you'd be surprised at how many people date their cousins. I used to think it was wierd too, but now, not anymore. In fact, the our President's son just married his second cousin the other week or something. I don't think it's so bad. I wouldn't do it, but maybe it's because I hardly talk to any of my cousins. But I wouldn't really find it too inappropriate or anything, since really, you can't help who you fall in love with. But a first cousin, or a BROTHER, now THAT's off for me... I don't think I can handle that O_o

Cristy, it would do you good to get a comment command.

Farmer, I just remembered that I still have to critique your art for you!!! Ack! I've been uberly missing out on my promises lately! My deepest apologies. I'll get to it, honest!!!

Happy Birthday to A Lost Friend

Well, it's past midnight, so it is officialy July 4th here in my half of the earth... And it's the birthday of my lost buddy, Larissa. Happy b-day, Lar.

Well, she's not lost in the sense that she's missing. She's lost in the sense that she hates my freaking boyfriend-stealing guts. And I just got reminded about that because, well... It's her birthday. And I can't greet her for it. *sigh*

Sheee, whenever I think about this the gut-wrenching guilt never ceases to eat up at me. Ngrrrrrrrr *crosses eyes*

Ah, and who's this boyfriend that I'm talking about? Take a wild guess.

Yeppers, it's Alan.

*audience groans* (not another Alan post!)

Hehe, 'tis my blog, and I talk about what I want. And today, I talk about Alan... for the nth time... There are barfing receptacles at each corner of the room. Feel free to use them anytime. Emergency exits are there, there, there, and there. Please keep your arms and legs away from pointy objects that will cause you to harm Yapi out of annoyance. Thank you!

I can hear those negative ratings from Bloghop banging at my door now :P

And Alan, if you're reading this (which I *trust* you're not, but just making sure) -- GET OUTTA MY BLOG!!! You're not supposed to be here! Go to my homepage and look at my art or something. Shoo, shoo!

Okay, all that insecurity out of the way, let's get to the meat of this blog. If I still have an audience, that is. Bweheheheh. Oh well. Mostly, a blog is for personal therapy anyway, so why am I so concerned about my audience? Shee, I'll just stop with the apologies and get on with it! But one last thing -- please bear in mind that this is not a "pity me" post! You don't have to take my side, or tell me it's not my fault or anything just because it's my blog. I just feel like telling a story today :P Oh, and the pictures today have an alt message, so point your mouse over them if you wish to read the info ^_^

Anyway, about Larissa. Larissa is Alan's cousin. Second, I think... She was a buddy of mine in highschool. While she was a nice person, she was the type who'd always be sad about something, so you constantly try to cheer her up with all your might. And one day, she was talking about how much she missed her hunny, Alan. This was way back in 1995 so not much people in the Philippines had e-mail yet. But I had one, so I officially became her Alan connection. My mission, should I choose to accept it, was e-mail Larissa's letters to Alan and print her out his replies. Simple enough, if that damned ass Alan wasn't so damned ass friendly!!!! Out of courtesy, I would say a little "hi" note to him before typing up Lar's letter. And he, out of courtesy too, I suppose, would reply to those "hi" notes before typing up his reply to Lar. Soon those "hi" notes turned into "what's up" notes, and those "what's up" notes turned into short notes, then the short notes turned into long notes, until we were writing e-mail novels to each other, irc'ing, and sending each other letters and doodles through snail mail....

I dunno, neither of us saw it coming, I suppose. By 1996 Larissa has gotten her own internet connection, and was getting suspicious. Well, at first it was an empty suspicion, because we had no plans whatsoever to hook up or anything. We were just a couple of e-mail buddies who liked to draw, and we drew pictures for each other just for fun. But still, I guess I couldn't blame her. I seem to have a jealous streak myself, and something like this would probably cause me to worry too. And the fact that Alan's snail mails to her were mysteriously disappearing was not helping. Although admittedly, I seem to be growing a certain fondness for Alan already. Although I always just kept him at the back of my head, and ONLY at the back of my head for three reasons:

1) Alan and Larissa were an item, and if I cared about Larissa at ALL, I should hit myself in the head with a dead cow and forget about it
2) I've never even met the guy in real life
3) I'm in Manila. Alan's in New Jersey. 'Nuff said.

Of course, there's also the fact that the fondness is one-sided. Or so I thought, until that fateful morning of November 25th, 1996. We both admitted that we kinda had a crush on each other. Hehe, and you know what, up until now we're still arguing over who said it first. I believe it was me who said that I liked him first, but he says that he admitted having the crush first. Hm. Maybe we'll never know :P

Anyway, one thing to know about me is that I'm a freaking giggly ditz when it comes to guys I like. Well, not really, but you *will* notice that twinkle in my eye. I've never been able to successfully hide a crush no matter how hard I tried. So obviously, Larissa knew, even if she wasn't letting on. And this is where heaven and hell converged. But still, those three reasons I have up there prevail, so while I enjoyed his company, I told myself that the relationship only extends until that. Also because I have to endure several daggers of guilt digging and twisting into my guts because... well, Larissa's a nice person, but boy can she take you on an interstate highway guilt trip!! But still, I do admit that the guilt trips were justified. If someone took my boyfriend from me behind my back I'd probably blast a hole in her kneecap and call it Barbarella.

But sometime in 1997, a series of events which I probably should not reveal in this blog caused me to loosen my ties with Alan and get on with my life. We still kept in touch, but not like we did before. So then Larissa was feeling more comfortable with me, and things were basically back to how they were before the whole messy Alan saga. By February 1998, I have accquired a boyfriend (even if I didn't really want him) and soon after Alan developed a relationship with a girl while on their choir trip to the Netherlands, and so he got a girlfriend too (and admittedly, I was *sorta* jealous because I still kinda liked him -- AND I was kinda sulking at the fact that he cut his hair for her when he promised me that he won't cut it until we meet in person... waaaah, hehe).

So, since Lar and I were back to good friend status, I was happy. We hung out (though not too often because she lived 2 hours from me) and she invited me to her parties.

Fast forward to now, two years since I last spoke with Larissa. I was single again and so was Alan. Larissa is now with this other guy and from what I hear, they're very much in love. December 2001, Alan's family came home to the Philippines for the holidays. My celphone rings, I hear a very very Americanized male voice on the line, and FINALLY we met in person. Of course, neither of us expected anything anymore. We just thought it would be cool to just see who was behind all the e-mails and the art. Basically, we were just supposed to meet up, have some fun conversations, and hang out a bit. Nothing more than that. Although you know that it went beyond that. I won't bore with the details :P And the last night before his family went back home to the States (he stayed longer for me ^_^), he asked me to come over and have dinner with them. And surprise, surprise. Larissa was there. And she refused to even look at me. And I've never felt my spine feel so frozen in my entire life.

The last time I spoke with Lar, we were happy. We were in good terms, she was okay, and I was okay. We talked, we laughed, and we partied. And now that Alan's back in my life... She hates me again.

And so here is my challenge. Tomorrow, on her birthday... Would I greet her happy birthday and try to make amends?

...Or would I chicken out and just to school and have tea and croissants in the afternoon like I always do?

I say the odds are 5% I actually gather the strength to try to get us talking again. 95% I chicken out.

Atarashii Kutsu ^_^

A couple of days ago while weeding out my closet I realized that I didn't own a single pair of white shoes. So today, after my mom and I watched Minority Report (mmm, nice!) at the mall, I kept an eye out for a nice pair. And I found this nifty pair at Cinderella:



They were marked down from Php 1,300 (US $26) to Php 350 (US $7) so my mom was like, "Why the freaking hell not, my beloved daughter!" Okay, she didn't actually say that, but she was more than happy to buy the shoes ^^ Nothing too special about them really, but I wanted to own a pair of white rubbies. And well... I think the other reason that I bought the shoe is for the footstep...



Hee hee hee hee. I'm a shallow perv who's too too too easy to please :P Hee hee hee. That is hella cute :P I wonder where these shoes were made?

And since I already posted two pics, as to not slow down my page too much there will be no doodle today :P

And before I forget, I made a new friend!!! *bounce bounce* Hiya hiya, Aya-chan! Added her to the links there since she oh so kindly added me to hers ^^ But check out her blog Itsumo Kirei, if you please. Pretty layout ^^ Oh, may I ask you something, Aya? How come me being Pinay is a plus? Are you one too? Doesn't say in your blog, but hm, I think the 5'2" height and the natural black hair kinda gives me the clue ^^

And Spacie, "Bishounen no Koi" would translate to "Beautiful Boys' Love". Hehe. Quite fitting ^_~ I wonder who those actors are :9